hes a sheep…..or a coin…you pick

What is it about boys that can make a girl go crazy. That makes your toes curl, that make your stomache jump hoops? That makes you want to have that foot poppin old school kiss movie thing?  Why is it that all a boy can do is look you right in the eye…and then smile…all you want to do is grab him and kiss him?  To give you a little insight…..there is this boy….who I think I kinda like but im not one to rush things….if you know me at all you know what i mean.  I mean come on, I havent even been on a date or had a boyfriend or anything since…2003…and its 2008 you do the math. Now I know I shouldnt….but i do. Apparently I dont mask my feelings very well…because he knows. I actually liked him before….and Im pretty sure….he knew then too….but he had a girlfriend too….and I DONT DO THAT!!!  But his name is Manuel….he makes me feel like a little kid…and I love it!!  I dont actually see anything going anywhere. See the thing with me is this, I might feel away about someone…but I dont ever act on them…well…usually I dont. Because I dont feel I have anything to offer to the opposite sex, except…to be the bestest friend ever….and im good at it. Damn self confidence issue!! This boy, is cute, no doubt. He is also a little dorky…which for some reason to me, is totally adorable…its true. He wears glasses, he laughs kinda cute/funny, and sometimes…he says things…and your like “Just dont call me late for dinner” but like i said….i think its all cute. Its sad though…I will come across like I have confidence in myself….but I dont…at all. Now it has been well over 3 years since even the last time I have even kissed a boy…I dont even know if I remember how to now…lol…I hope its like riding a bike…anyways…this boy…I admire him. He doesnt know it but…he inspires me to be a better person. Manuel has had some hard times. Now i have actually known of him since we were in 2nd grade…..GOOOO WILSON WARRIORS!!!Its funny we are nothing like how we are now. He was this skinny skinny, short little bowl cut blonde haired boy, who wore the biggest jeans possible JNCO as a matter a fact, and skated all of the time and that he was hilarious!!!. And that my friend had a crush on him in the 9th grade, and I was the elected “best Friend” to follow him a day and report back what he did all day….lol….soo stupid! Thats all I knew of him. Although we never talked in school…i remembered him because i thought he was adorable and funny then….well…i guess…it didnt change. Just so you know…he looks nothing like that now. Nothing. He wears fitted jeans, he is strong, has muscle now…his body has filled in. And last night he was wearing these dress slacks…that made his butt…..well…lets just say he needs to wear those pants daily!! He has shorter hair…but his laugh is still the same.  And that goofy kid that i remember is still inside this boy. Its amazing to see someone grow that much…well actually you have no idea. Like I said he got into some stuff, that was not so good for him….and now…he is trying to make his life better. And I couldnt be more proud. I look at him, and know he is the kind of person that I want to be around, the kind of person, that makes you feel like, you can do better….and you will. Not to mention that he is HOT!!!!  Like in Luke in the bible, “once was lost but now is found”, well thats him…he is the sheep who was lost, the coin that was found. To me it doesnt matter where you have been, but where you are going. And I see sooo much for him. I have no idea what is going to happen to us…other then…im glad that for whatever reason…he is in my life. I think God puts people in our lives at the exact right moment….maybe Gods intent was for us to help each other…in the funk that both of us have seemed to be in.

Add a comment September 21, 2008